Manifesting money

Enough. Enough trying  to fix my mind so that it will manifest grace and abundance. I need it. I feel desperate to get it too. 

All the websites say that desperation is bad. It is honest though. When I feel small and cut off from everything, desperation is what I have to offer. I can't offer what I don't have.

So, this morning I have decided to pray for wealth for everyone. Every single person in the whole world needs to be wealthy or I won't be satisfied.  

Affirmations, prayers, positive thinking rituals, whatever.  I can't feel comfortable with them, they aren't real, unless I ask for what I really want. And that is it. I want everyone to win the lottery.

 I want the Publishers Clearing House people to show up at every single door, hovel, tent and homeless person's grocery cart and hand them $5000 a week for life. I want it for everyone and I won't pray for anything else.